hic sunt dracones

a hilarious joke

wingscanspeak:

spookweedeveryday:

tanku:

three cats are competing in a race. there’s an american cat named “one two three”, a german cat named “ein zwei drei”, and a french cat named “un deux trois”. the cats all swim across a lake. the american cat finishes first, the german cat finishes second, but the french cat is nowhere to be found.

why?

because the un deux trois quatre cinq

IM LAUGHING SO HARD AT THIS JOKE IF YOU DONT UNDERSTAND IT I FEEL SO BAD FOR YOU 

EXPLAIN

(via averypottermormon)

bleachdalilah:

thtwhitegurrl:

slutdust:

I bought my friend an elephant for their room.

They said “Thank you.”

I said “Don’t mention it.”

Is there a joke here that 15 thousand people get but I don’t?

PLEASE EXPLAIN

(via tricky-pineapple)

What do we say to the god of death?

  • Persephone: knock knock
  • Hades: who's there?
  • Persephone: it's September hope you're ready to bang like a screen door in a hurricane
lizclimo:

good thinkin

lizclimo:

good thinkin

(via tastefullyoffensive)

booksfrommyshelf:

I am haunted by all the editions of books that are prettier than the ones I already own.

(via luftnarp)

(Source: zoewashburne, via echosfaith)

technicallyteenagedsherlock:

Who’s responsible for this?
Is Steve Carlsberg responsible for this?
Maybe a group of good citizens should go have a “chat” with Steve and find out why he’s been trying to share cokes, and with whom.

technicallyteenagedsherlock:

Who’s responsible for this?

Is Steve Carlsberg responsible for this?

Maybe a group of good citizens should go have a “chat” with Steve and find out why he’s been trying to share cokes, and with whom.

(via luftnarp)

LotR + Blades

(Source: isildur-elessar, via misslampface)

(Source: fireflygifs, via echosfaith)

thewordsofclayton:

sirtarantino:

a guy walked into the board room and said

"hi sweetheart if you could fix me up a coffee real quick im meeting with the regional reports manager in like five minutes, thanks darling"

and i just stared at him and coldly said

"i am the regional reports manager"

we are now twenty minutes into this board meeting and i dont think i’ve ever seen a man look so embarrassed and afraid in my whole life

Good

(Source: sofiajonze, via echosfaith)